Premarital Counseling On The Rise

Happy couple reading in the bed at home in the bedroomDue to fear of failure, premarital counseling has become more popular. Who wants to get involved in an unhappy or doomed-to-fail marriage?

First — People recognize that learning about marriage prevents the fighting, unhappiness, and divorce their predecessors lived through.

Second — Because now that a lot of people have tried it, we can see many problems that come with single parenting and uncommitted families.

Third — People are beginning to realize “natural” marriage is not as simple as it looks.

The risk of divorce based on marital statistics governs strong warnings. Maybe not getting premarital education seemed reasonable when the divorce rate had just started creeping up, but not anymore.

The current divorce rate is such that over half the children in America do not live in a two-parent home.

The demographics of those getting divorced are clear. No matter how rich or poor, no matter how spiritual or not, no matter what their politics, race, etc. no couple is safe.

Unfortunately, going back to the “good old days” will not ease the divorce rate. You cannot go back, because marriage belonged to that other world. Here are just a few ways the world has changed:

  1. People were terribly ostracized if they divorced.
  2. Divorced mothers’ children (moms usually had custody of the kids) stood out, and other kids weren’t allowed to play with them.
  3.  Women had very little earning power, so they ended up impoverished.

As you can see, the enormous pressures to stay together made divorce such an out-of-the-box idea that it rarely happened. Courts didn’t even have a separate division for divorce, as it does now.

Couples getting married cannot go back to the “old morality.” The real solution, the one that works, is premarital education.

Premarital counseling and premarital education are the same thing.

Some people call it premarital counseling, but I prefer the term “education,” because you are not just looking for wise words to help get you through a temporary situation. Marriage lasts a lifetime. Getting a few tips or sage advice is like heading off to climb a mountain after reading a few magazine articles. If you tried climbing a mountain with such little educational preparation, you can pretty much count on not surviving.

Premarital Counseling Is Scientific

Vague, lofty advice is useless unless accompanied by practical steps one can actually take. What you, and every couple needs, is quality, science-based marriage education. You should know the following:

  1. Are we mature enough to be successfully married?
  2. Did we choose each other based on certain principles?

Then, once you are clear about those, you need to learn:

  1. How to achieve peace, harmony, and a connection.
  2. How to spot warning signs of trouble ahead.
  3. Which expectations are dangerous and which are fine.
  4. How to create happiness.

Adjusting to new marriage takes a bit of time, so you should have all the tools and knowledge available. Marriage is only mysterious to the uneducated.

A happy marriage depends on you and your skills. Seeking premarital counseling will strengthen your marriage. It is not about compatibility or dumb luck. You chose your soulmate, you chose to get married, and you are responsible for how great your marriage will be.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *