Should We Live Together Before We Get Married?

Should We Live Together Before We Get Married?
Should We Live Together Before We Get Married?

Should We Live Together Before We Get Married? Or should we wait? I am going to help you answer the question. But I’m not going to tell you what you should do.

The teachings we rely on are both scientific and spiritual. We don’t rely on religous dogma, or someone’s experiences. Individual’s religion (or no religion) is a personal choice which we don’t involve ourselves in. You need to use your own free will for that. Your own best judgment should work out for you. 

Naturally, you should know what some of the “negative” ramifications of early moving in are going to be. We also will share some “common” considerations. Things you may have, or have not, considered.

The most important element is never discussed in general forums. Until we developed these premarital teachings nobody looked at marriage scientifically. Premarital counseling offers great foundational methods and techniques. In fact, we take premarital counseling to a scientific level. No moralizing and no preaching!

There are three common reasons for couples to move in together. These are not always the reasons they think they want to move in together.

  1. Easier sex
  2. Save money
  3. Get a head-start i.e. impatience

Biology has unseen, but tremendous, impacts. It happens to, and in, your subconsciousness. I hope you understand this. The role of biology on your thinking is huge and undeniable. This is the drive for sex.

The drive to procreate is biological. It’s a hidden force that gives birth to sexual desire. It is not “sinful” to feel a desire for sex; it simply comes with having a biological body. This is the main drive (there are others, of course) to consider.

Biological factors make women approach procreation uniquely. Men are wired differently. They are biologically “designed” for a simpler role. They are “driven” to have sex. Biologically speaking, no other considerations drive a man’s lust. Men, biologically speaking, do not naturally infuse sex with love. The drive is to have sex, fertilize, and rest up. Men who are “connected” when they have sex are self-trained to be that way…these are just the facts. Therefore men and women are NOT on the same page sexually.

Women approach procreation more deeplyWomen, due to biological imperatives, are “designed” to include far more than sex in their role as mothers. They are assigned the privilege of being a living incubator. They are also assigned the privilege of nurturer and protector; for the rest of their children’s lives.

For the above reasons women have a tremendously different role in nature’s plan. It is a great role. Women relish it. So, one of the reasons they look forward to, and embrace, the role of motherhood, is because of a “trick” of nature, that works for them, and their husbands.

Nature has given women the gift of an automatic heart connection. This connection to their heart is ultimately fulfilled by “giving”. And women give like crazy when they become mothers. They are also fulfilled when they open their heart to their husband. But, what happens when women have sex when they are not married?

We are now, finally, getting to the question. But you need to see the bigger picture before you can answer it for yourself.

Should We Live Together Before We Get Married?

This has to be a “lady’s choice”. As a woman you need to know the “whats” and the “whys”.

A woman, due to an extension of her drive to survive, will open her heart only to the man who she knows, subconsciously, will stay with her till the end. Without this unconscious sense of security her heart simply cannot open up fully; she will hold back. Not coincidentally, it is her full expression of love that is the greatest gift for her husband…get it?

Couples who do not wait to move in, and/or wait to have sex find it takes longer for the wife to completely open her heart once married. Not the end of the world, of course. But these are the facts.

The other 2 reasons are easy enough to understand, so we will not talk about them.

Part 2 will discuss other considerations.

Read the second part…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *