This is not instruction of the SEW technique: The following explanation is is not intended to be directions in the use of the SEW. Because, although the SEW technique is simple, it draws upon scientific explanations which the average mind must learn, and assimilate, before the technique can be usefully applied. The most thorough instruction of the technique is an integral part of each of our online courses.
Free will is the greatest tool for happiness that human beings have. This gift of free will is unique to us. Unfortunately, the use of free will usually is dramatically, and quite effectively, mitigated by other great innate tools; instincts, habits, and emotions.
Ironically, because of Western psychology’s perverse (and egotistical) desire to somehow separate mind from maker, early WP teachings contrived a concept of the mind that makes “it”, the mind, the primary aspect of an individual; rather than the soul. This debilitating idea renders control over habits, instincts, and emotions, nearly impossible. The self-inflicted handicap is an unintended, but dramatic, result of accepting the erroneous idea that the mind ‘contains’ a soul; that is when one even considers the soul to be ‘more than’ an abstract idea conjured up by the mind, itself.
As anyone can see, the Western psychological concept of the mind makes us victims, rather than masters, of the three otherwise benign challengers of self-supremacy.
The true and accurate description of a human being is that he or she is a soul. We, as a soul, have a mind. In order to enjoy our natural innate happiness we must control the mind. The alternatives is enslavement to instincts, habits, and emotions.
Paul Friedman invented the SEW out of necessity.
When Paul Friedman developed the early stages of his strategy to create ideal marriages, which were to replace the misery producing strategies inadvertently and unconsciously employed by his earliest clients, he noticed the difficulties individuals had using the common sense marriage building techniques he recommended. In nearly every case, the noblest efforts of his clients seemed unsustainable. Habits, instincts, and emotions ruled, no matter how hard people tried to change their ways. It became clear that a specialized tool would be required, and so it was.
The SEW, (an acronym), uses every leverage point we know to give the practitioner absolute control over their mind. But like other simple tools, its underlying principles must be understood, and then deep practice for a time, must be part of the learning process.
We know of no other technique that can give the user the sure results sought.
Early attempts to utilize SEW, when it was merely described in simple terms, were unsatisfactory. Practitioners, regardless of their intelligence or confidence, utilized the technique in only its crudest and shallowest way. They did not get even the smallest benefits. From this early experience, we learned that SEW must be properly taught without shortcuts, and for this reason, we now only share the technique as a part of our program.
Without the SEW, no one can be assured of marital success. With SEW, the success rate for those who aspire to improve their marriage is very high. SEW has become one of the hallmarks of our time tested successful programs.